Dear Bratty Bitch (hereinafter, BB):

Dear BB:

Thanks so much for harassing me incessently for two whole years for a stupid ass Barbie Dream House, and then playing with it all of 5 times.  There is nothing I like more than wasting money I don't have on stupid toys for your spoiled ass. 

Incidentally, Barbie is a whore. I hate her, AND her stupid house, that took 3 adults, a bottle of wine and a good 2 hours to put together. Stupid slut.

Love you!
Mommy

PS - at least it comes with the furniture for the fucking $160+ it costs.  Although the chairs are already broken on ours.  Because toy companies LOVE charging hundreds of dollars for shitty pieces of plastic and cardboard.