Let me preface this note to you by letting you know how much I love you.
I really do. You should know by the way I take beatings from you on a regular basis, but I still let you live here and never kick you around. Also, I feed you every day and empty out your litter box, scratch behind your ears and let you in and out all day and night long to your heart's content.
BUT YOU had to go get into a fight with a fucking raccoon or whatever the fuck it was and get a goddamned infected oozing disgusting open sore on your face. It was all your fault!!!!
NOW I have spent over $1,000 that I DON'T HAVE making you well again BECAUSE I LOVE YOU*!!! But I am sorry! Even though I REALLY LOVE YOU, if you insist on taking that fucking cone off your head and scratching the shit out of your disgusting open wound, and rip the drain out, I am not paying another $1,000 to have it put back in! YOU are getting put to sleep. Sorry. That only costs like $50.
SO STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT!!!!! Or your going to be flying around that cat jungle gym in the sky.
Love you,
Your Human Mommy.
*see above
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