Please take me in as one of your own! I am so sick of paying an astronomical amount of money every single month for medical insurance just to be slapped with a huge bill every time I walk into a doctor's office.
Now I know some big mouth Americans have probably pissed you off by saying how we have the best doctors and you have to wait forever to get seen by a doctor in Canada, but I'm not like that. They are just brainwashed. The truth of the matter is the fucking doctors here don't know dick. My favorite example of this is the time I had a reoccurring sinus infection for 6 months and the dumb doctor kept loading me up with antibiotics, just for me to finally figure out that I had a fucking tooth problem and needed a root canal.
Another fine example of this was when I actually DID have a sinus infection and the doctor told me "nothing is wrong". NOTHING IS WRONG? How can nothing be wrong when I am so sick I can't even lift my head off of my pillow? I was so sick I was sure I was going to die. Having never had a sinus infection before, it was all news to me. My father, THE CAR MECHANIC diagnosed the sinus infection for me. I wrote a nice letter to the doctor telling her to change careers before someone sued her ass for malpractice. I also included a bill because I ended up missing my sister's bachelorette party (THAT I PAID LIKE $500 FOR) because of her stupidity. She never paid it, but it was more to prove a point than anything else.
How about when I went to the dentist and he refused to touch me until I paid what my insurance wouldn't cover, and then he shot me up 5 times with novacaine, however I FELT EVERY FUCKING THING HE DID. I thought I was crazy or maybe it wasn't working or maybe it was a very obscenely deep cavity, however THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO MY HUSBAND!!! When I left that asshole's office I was drenched in sweat. I looked like a refugee!!!! Clearly he had no idea what the fuck he was doing.
Another stupid ass doctor killed my friend. She went in for a routine tube tying and they perforated her bowel and she became septic and died. Nice, right? Or how about the many people I know with CANCER, whose doctors couldn't be bothered listening to their symptoms or thought they were too young to have it and just disregarded their concerns??? All the while they are going from doctor to doctor to doctor and all of the doctors are saying something different and all the while the fucking cancer is eating them alive.
Meanwhile, my filling just fell out and there is a giant fucking hole in my tooth. WHERE SHOULD I GO???? I don't know. All I know is I AM DEAD BROKE and can't afford to go to the fucking dentist even THOUGH I HAVE INSURANCE. WHAT THE FUCK? I need a fucking dentist who will TAKE what MY INSURANCE pays and LEAVE IT AT THAT! Otherwise, seriously, JUST PULL MY FUCKING TEETH OUT.
So I'm just saying, I'll take my chances with the Canadian doctors. They can't be WORSE. And the Canadians don't have to pay anything. While I'm at it, I'll take a Canadian education as well. Because my GIANT student loan hasn't done me any favors either.
Canada, I love you, eh. I will sew a flag on my backpack and start eating peameal*.
Love,
ME
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