Dear Cyndi Lauper Wannabe:

Dear Cyndi Lauper Wannabe:

I must apologize to you, because it seems that the freaks ACTUALLY do come out during the day. 

I know this because it is not even 3PM yet, and I've already had to curse out two old fucks and restrain myself from punching a cashier in the head.

Explain this to me, WHY, just because someone is OLD, does that mean that the rest of the world has to fucking bow down to them? This guy was Superdouche, King of all Douches. Apparently, he wanted me to reverse, thereby crashing my car into the girl in the big white truck who was behind me at the light. All so he can get into the gas station. Which he could have gotten in at one of the other entrances, but NO. He'd rather cause a 5 car pile up by having me reverse into cars stopped at a red light. No worries buddy, you own this planet.

THEN another old fuck in the grocery store had to feel my wrath because it was too much of an effort for him to GO AROUND my cart when I stopped to take out my screaming baby (poor baby had been dragged on errands ALL MORNING and was NOT happy). He stood behind me shaking his head. So I screamed at him, because REALLY someone NEEDS to let these people know they are acting like fucking jackasses. I screamed "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SHAKING YOUR HEAD AT"??*, but he didn't answer me. Jerkoff.

THEN the Mother of all Assholes**, there I am in the store making copies of pictures on the scanner***, and I have a coupon for 20 free prints. Well I only made 10. FREE RIGHT???? Oh NO. Because apparently you can only use this coupon if the stars align, you are paying in Australian dollars, and wearing an apple green thong.  I AM SO SICK OF THESE STUPID ASS STORES AND THEIR STUPID ASS BULLSHIT RULES WITH THE COUPONS.  It's total bullshit. Apparently I have to have made copies of 20 pictures to get them all free. EVEN WHEN I SAID I WOULD just forfeit the other 10 pictures, NOPE. Meanwhile does this make any sense??? THEY are benefitting from this because I would only be getting 10 free pictures instead of 20.  It's always the same bullshit with these coupons. One store is worse than the other.

So I apologize "Cyndi", for calling you a freak.  I'd rather be dancing and hanging out with you than dealing with any of the above asstards ANY DAY. Please accept my sincerest of apologies.

Love,
ME

*I know, I KNOW the no cursing thing is really not working out for me.

**In this case it is Target, but really it could be any of the following, take your pick a) Macy's, b) Old Navy, c) Sears, d) the Children's Place, e) etc., etc., etc.,  I could go on FOREVER ad nauseum with all the stupid fucking stores and their stupid fucking rules.....

***My sister in law is divorced and we are meeting a new guy she is kind of seeing or whatever. Meanwhile, her wedding pics have been hanging on my wall in a big collage frame. Had to get rid of it before they get here so I put holiday pics in! Nothing like waiting til the last minute. BUT MEANWHILE I screwed one up so one part of the collage is empty. Now I gotta go back, and try  not to punch the bitch behind the counter AGAIN.  UGH it is SO HARD being me!