Dear Evil Empire:

Dear Evil Empire*:


Every day I shop in your store and spend probably enough to pay your manager's salary for a year, HOWEVER I do this out of convenience and because your prices are (usually) pretty low.


That does NOT change the fact that YOU are an EVIL EMPIRE.


I really want to report you to the BBB. Because let me tell you, some of your practices are total bullshit.  Like your FALSE ADVERTISING. I love walking into your store and seeing something is supposedly on sale for a really great price and then getting to the register and finding out that it IS NOT EVEN THOUGH THE SIGN POSTED INDICATES THAT IT IS.  And then your bitchy check out girl will not give it to you for the posted price. This is bullshit. 


It happens so much, that I couldn't resist fighting on behalf of the poor girl in front of me, who thought her Cheerios cost $2.53, when in fact they were actually $4.99.  She thought they were $2.53 because there was a sign that was a foot high that said $2.53, and then below that sign there were boxes and boxes and boxes of Cheerios.  Apparently, according to the Thundercunt Cashier, there were little price tags located on the shelves that stated the boxes were $4.99. There was not one box on the shelf that was the size box of Cheerios that cost $2.53.  But did the EVIL EMPIRE give her the box of Cheerios for $2.53? NO. Of course not. BECAUSE THEY ARE SOULLESS BLOODSUCKING EVIL GREEDY JACKASSES.  And the stupid cashier was a huge fucking bitch about it.  So I just had to jump in and let the poor girl fighting for her Cheerios know that THE EVIL EMPIRE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME.  Stupid cashier bitch was personally offended. Oh well. The truth hurts sister.


You return policy also SUCKS. I know you should keep all receipts but come on, shit happens. And if I want to exchange something I should be able to do it without a receipt. OR I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET STORE CREDIT and buy whatever I want.  Seriously, your rule about giving store credit for only the department whose item you are returning - that's ridiculous. How did you even come up with that bullshit? Also I HATE how you can't return dvds (or electronics or whatever if they are opened. I get that people steal or whatever but let me tell you something - one day I bought a dvd (the Others with Nicole Kidman). When I got home and opened the dvd, THERE WAS NOTHING IN THERE. The case was EMPTY! Oh Good God that took years off of my life fighting that return battle (but I did SUCCEED!!! HAHA) And one time my sister tried to return a remote because IT WAS DEFECTIVE and didn't work. And they gave her a very very very hard time. Or how about when, you are having a baby and you are expecting the baby to be a girl, but HE comes out a BOY.  You are telling me I can't fucking return clothes people got me as gifts that CLEARLY came from Target (which you can tell from the brands they sell) with no receipt and that since I have no receipt I can only buy clothes from the Girls department????? Yeah that's fucking useful to me, since A FREAKING BOY POPPED OUT INSTEAD.


But the last straw is when you wouldn't let the girl scouts stand outside of your store to collect donations to deliver to soldiers in Afghanistan.  YOU act like you are all about Community Service but really you are just an EVIL EMPIRE and need to be destroyed. What is the problem? YOU would actually be making money off this deal because people would be purchasing extra items in your store to give to the soldiers.  Clearly you have no soul. 


Fuck you,
Love,
Me


*Target