Dear Craigslist Hooker Killer:
Again, while looking for work, I come across yet ANOTHER RIDICULOUS ad from YOU, the Craigslist Hooker Killer:
Melville Spa now hiring attendants for our gentlemen clientele. We are seeking personable, attractive females who are available two to three days per week. Must be reliable with a positive attitude. Private, safe, stress-free and lucrative environment. If you are interested in knowing more about us, please reply by e-mail with your name, age, phone number and two recent photos (face & body shots). Thank you
You know what I see when I read this? If it isn't obvious to you, I will spell it out.
Melville Spa now hiring attendants for our gentlement clientele. Melville Spa now hiring prostitutes to service male clients under the guise of massage therapy. We are seeking personable, attractive females who are available two to three days per week. Ugly bitches need not apply. We only need you to work 2-3 days a week because we wouldn't want to have to pay your worker's comp claims for the carpal tunnel you will get from giving all those happy endings.
Must be reliable with a positive attitude. Must be reliable, and make even the fattest, sweatiest, nastiest men feel like they are Jude Law. Private, safe, stress-free and lucrative environment. We'll give you your own room to work out of, and if you don't do side work you probably won't get yourself killed. Since we are masquerading as a spa, we'll have nice relaxing New Age music and aromatherapeutic candles and lube. You'll definitely make loads of money, especially if you are willing to get freaky.
If you are interested in knowing more about us, please reply by e-mail with your name, age, phone number and two recent photos (face and body shots). Call us if you are interested in whoring yourself out. The economy sucks and we know you bitches are desperate. Make sure you send us a picture though, because even though YOU may think you are hot, chances are, YOU ARE NOT. Thank you.
What kind of people respond to these ads anyway? I can only hope the Suffolk County Police Department is trolling Craigslist and is hot on your trail.
Love,
ME
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