Dear Idiots:

Dear Idiots:

You all know that I only write about the crappy stuff that happens all the time because it is funny right?

You all know that just because I'm not writing about the boring normal stuff that doesn't mean that most of the time my life is not boring and normal.  My life IS boring and normal.  And it doesn't mean that I hate my whole family or something. Which is why the blog description is basically a disclaimer.  Just because I love them doesn't mean they are not jackasses some of the time.

And I don't need to write about how Middle Spawn is so cute and tells me he loves me and hugs me all the time and it is so great. And how Baby Spawn eats anything and everything I put in front of him and always has a smile on his face no matter what.  And how my beautiful daughter always tells me how she loves me more than I love her.  No one wants to hear this crap.  They want to hear about how Middle Spawn throws piles of shit at the mailman or how Baby Spawn eats cat food and BB has the manners of a fucking circus animal (I swear, she REFUSES to say please, thank you, god bless you, etc.) AND she screams and yells and has fits in public and humiliates me beyond belief.

No one wants to hear how the husband constantly tells me he loves me or how he sneaks the credit card out and buys me mothers day and birthday and Christmas gifts even though I never get him anything (and he never wants anything - we have this agreement where we don't exchange gifts because we don't want to waste the money. But he wastes the money anyway; he's not happy unless he is wasting money - But whatever, it's the thought that counts).  It's MUCH more entertaining that this man CANNOT load a dishwasher and despite NUMEROUS lessons he STILL cannot figure it out.

I'm just trying to figure out why people think I hate my family or something.  Do you think that every day is fucking hell? If you do you are even a bigger idiot than I thought originally.  Here's the thing, retards, JUST LIKE EVERY DAY IS NOT SUNSHINE AND ROSES, EVERY DAY IS NOT HELL EITHER. But no one wants to read about sunshine and roses. They want to laugh! And Middle Spawn throwing shit at the mailman is FUNNY!!!! 

Clearly you have no life if you are gonna sit there and judge me and not take this for what it actually is:  entertainment (and therapy for me). 

Get a life, you losers.  If it is so upsetting to you, print out a copy of this post and know that we are a happy family who loves each other and that you are a stupid douche.

Love,
Me