To the Manufacturer of the Claw Machine:

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to forewarn you about the impending lawsuit I will be filing against you for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Your stupid fucking machine has caused me countless years of pain and suffering. 

My 7 year old daughter has a mental fucking breakdown every single time she puts the stupid 50 cents in and (of course) she doesn't win a stuffed fucking animal.

The straw that broke the camel's back in my case was when, at dinner last night, she threw herself onto the floor of Friendly's, kicking her legs and screaming. The child was practically hyperventilating.

I literally spent last night sick to my stomach with a raging migraine thanks to the trauma inflicted on me by my daughter as a result of your stupid fucking machine.

Go fuck yourself.

Thanks.

Love,
ME