Dear Society:

Dear Society:

I must apologize for the behavior of my jackass of a daughter.

All day long we have had to hear the screams:

YOU ARE A PROMISE BREAKER.

YOU ARE THE WORST MOTHER EVER.

All I want is my DS. HOW SIMPLE IS THAT? IS IT IN YOUR POCKET? CAUSE I NEED IT. I want to play it. I WANT MY DS RIGHT NOW. PLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSEEEEE???

Give me another chance with the DS. PLEASE?

YOU ARE SO MEAN.

OH PLEASE MAMA.

MOM WHERE IS IT MOM WHERE IS IT MOM WHERE IS IT MOM WHERE IS IT MOM WHERE IS IT MOM WHERE IS IT MOM WHERE IS IT MOM WHERE IS IT

WHERE IS IT. I WANT TO PLAY MY POKEMON GAME ON THE DS TELL ME PLEASE MOMMY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

AM I GONNA SAY THIS TIL I AM DEAD? PLEASE TELL ME.

I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU SAY IF YOU TELL ME WHERE IT IS. IF YOU GIVE ME THE DS I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU SAY.

MAYBE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH? MAYBE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A DS IS BECAUSE YOU SPEAK CHINESE? TELL ME WHERE IT IS CHINESE GIRL?

DO YOU EVEN HEAR ME???

DO YOU HAVE EARPLUGS IN?

I have to say that the Bitch isn't getting her fucking DS.  Because she makes it her business to make me look like a fucking psycho everywhere I go by laying on the soccer field screaming, throwing handfuls of grass at me, hitting me and making me chase her all around while everyone laughs at me.

I don't know why she isn't embarrassed to be a total lunatic? No one acts like her. Out of 200 people running around the soccer field at any given time, SHE were the only one acting like a jackass.

I need the fucking Supernanny or Maury Povitch to take her to fucking boot camp. 

In any event, the only way to teach this bitch a lesson is not to give in to her insanity. Although THAT doesn't seem to work either as we are all fucking suffering.

Any suggestions would be nice. And no, I can't murder her or have her kidnapped.

She is a total psycho.

Again, I apologize.

Love,
ME