Dear Douche Nozzle

I am not sure if you are aware, but we drive on the right side of the road in America. Maybe you have confused us with another English speaking nation such as Australia or the United Kingdom, but please make no mistake about it, this is the U.S. A. You should be able to tell because there are no kangaroos here, and also no one really drinks tea.

Perhaps the confusion arose because you were in an area where English isn't being spoken. In that case, you really are dumb, because in the Spanish speaking world, they also drive on the right.  In fact, if you ever are unsure, you should really just play the odds and go for driving on the right since most of the world does in fact drive on the right.  To avoid any confusion, I have included a map for future reference. 

Thank you, and good luck.

Sincerely,
ME