Dear Shit Head:

Dear Shit Head:

Please do not drag your baby brother down the hallway by his feet. You are scaring our company!! Really, they are getting very nervous! At least try not to do it while other people are around. And by the way ixnay ethay eamingscray inway ishay acefay easeplay*. I know it seems like he thinks it is funny because he laughs his ass off, but he is a baby and doesn't know any better. Plus I think you may have deafened him and he is just laughing at how silly your face looks while yelling at the top of your lungs.

Also, while we are at it, please do not stick more than one Wii game into the Wii at one time. Actually, PLEASE DON'T TOUCH THE FUCKING WII AT ALL. Because then I will have to punish you and it'll be pretty fucking annoying for me if I can't throw you in front of the TV for video games or whatever.

And another thing, can we try to maybe wear something other than pajama bottoms and a Star Wars or Super Mario Brothers T-shirt. You look like an escapee from a mental institution. Most importantly, let's try to STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND PEE IN THE TOILET. I realize you are busy and don't want to stop what you are doing, but Yoda wouldn't like it if you peed on his face and mommy can only do so many loads of laundry a day while making sure your new Star Wars undies are always clean.

Last but not least, please stop shooting the TV with your nerf dart tag gun. If daddy catches you I am sure he will force me to put you up for adoption if he doesn't kill you first. And even though you drive me crazy on a daily basis, I still really love you.

Love and Kisses,
Your Adoring Mother

*that means "nix the screaming in his face please" in Pig Latin. I'm getting tired of hearing myself say it over and over again so I thought I'd change it up a bit.