Dear That Who Shall Not Be Named:

Dear That Who Shall Not Be Named*:

How sad that I am writing you YET AGAIN about your suckass service. Last night, after a long day, I lay in bed wanting nothing else but to watch TV and wind down.

It was like God was playing a cruel joke on me.  First, I flipped to channel 191 to watch the Golden Girls**.  For some reason, that channel is blacked out.  Then I flipped over to channel 303 to watch Clueless***. No dice. Also blacked out. Now I'm reaching for ANYTHING. Because at over $200 a month, we all know the programming sucks. I try for Two and Half Men. Only channel 11 doesn't come in either. And last but not least, I tried to watch the Nanny. No dice.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON OVER THERE?? Why do only some channels work and others don't? You guys suck. I want a credit for the months of suffering I have to go through. Meanwhile on demand doesn't work either. I tried to watch Glee and it wouldn't play. I HATE YOU SO MUCH I HOPE A DISGRUNTLED CUSTOMER GOES IN THERE AND FIREBOMBS THE ENTIRE PLACE. I wouldn't be surprised if and when that happens.

Again, thanks for holding my fucking e-mail address hostage. I have to get rid of you, but the husband and I are fighting over where we should go next. Also, I don't want to be charged $85 for a remote that I can't find. Until then,

Go Fuck Yourself,
ME

*Cablevision
**Don't laugh. It's a good show.
***Best movie ever! AND I could identify as I felt impotent and out of control after channel 303 ALSO did not work.