Thursday, April 21, 2011

Dear Brats:

Dear Brats:


I so love cooking home cooked meals every night just to have them sit uneaten on the table.


I also enjoy watching iCarly during dinner, and having you all conveniently "forget" what went on at school during the day. REALLY, you can't remember ONE thing that happened? You can't remember who you sat with at lunch, who you played with at recess or one thing you learned at school? It wasn't that long ago!!!!!! Should I have you checked by a neurologist? Clearly something must be wrong with you if you can't remember anything.


It's great when you come in from school/dancing/soccer/whatever and dump your bag in the middle of the floor and then when I ask you to pick it up and put it in your room, you act like you don't know where it is. Here is an idea: step away from the TV and look around the room! I guarantee you will see it RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT IT. You brats are a bunch of lazy asses!  I thought things were turning around when Middle Spawn spilled the cranberry juice and took the mop out of his own volition and started cleaning the mess up! Clearly that was a one time thing, and anyway, all he really did was smear stickiness and juice all over the floor. I stuck to the kitchen floor this morning and could barely get myself free.


Maybe I should just save my money and only feed you two meals a day. Perhaps you should be taking Ginko Biloba or doing brain games?


Yours Truly,
Mom

4 comments:

  1. Funny, I just told my little niece last week that school was merely some annoying activity that interrupts her day until ICarly comes on! Then there are the rest of those shows where everyones either a pop star or a kick ass dancer. Oh the nonsense that's filling their brain sponges!!

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  2. YES! It is unbelievable. You can't just be an actress anymore you have to be Teen Queen Rock Star, dancer, and actress!

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  3. Kids who don't pick up after themselves I understand, teenagers though, THEY get on my nerves.

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  4. If I make it to their teenage years, I'm sure there will be plenty to say.....

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