Note to Self 12

Note to Self 12:

You really are the greatest mother. Seriously. You should get some sort of award*.  You are so fabulous, let me count the ways!

1.  That day when your kids ate jelly beans for dinner and skipped lunch altogether! Fabulous.
2.  How they are babysat by the Wii, DSi or TV all day long, while I:
            a.  Try to cook.
            b.  Try to clean.
            c.  Try to do laundry (fold laundry, that has piled up on the table, clean but unfolded and not put
                  away. I hate putting away laundry. I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. I hate folding too)
            d.  Dick around on the computer.
3. How swimming in the pool counts as their shower. (Hey I don't get one why should they?)
4. How I am drunk practically every night just to wind down! (ok, ok, don't go calling CPS on me, I am not
    drunk, per se, every night. I just need some wino time)
5.   How I am too damn tired to follow through on punishments. Because these kids are sooooooo damn
      annoying.
6.  How I spoil the kids even though I am destitute and have no money. They still do EVERYTHING. Even
     though I can't afford food.

Oh, how I could go on forever.  Straighten up please. YOU are a loser.
*for you dumbasses out there with no sense of humor, I am being sarcastic.