Are you the Craigslist serial killer dumping bodies on Dead Hooker Island? Is this how you find your victims? Honestly, while on my job hunt I cannot believe the stupid ad I came across that YOU posted. Do me a favor, and READ THIS AGAIN:
We're looking for an attractive/single girl to be our statkeeper for our summer softball team. We won't be able to pay you in money, but we'll supply you with plenty of laughs, awesome softball skills and beer.
Requirements:
Attending all of our games, which are Sunday mornings at 9am... which isn't too fun, but coming to the games hungover is totally acceptable.
You'll have to take pictures of us while we play, record all the stats and upload them to the team website.
Must be outgoing, and have a witty personality.
Although it's not a requirement, we often frequent Sunday Fundays at Fire Island to celebrate our awesomeness after the games, if you like Rocket Fuels and other beverages, I'd suggest attending.
21+ preferred
Requirements:
Attending all of our games, which are Sunday mornings at 9am... which isn't too fun, but coming to the games hungover is totally acceptable.
You'll have to take pictures of us while we play, record all the stats and upload them to the team website.
Must be outgoing, and have a witty personality.
Although it's not a requirement, we often frequent Sunday Fundays at Fire Island to celebrate our awesomeness after the games, if you like Rocket Fuels and other beverages, I'd suggest attending.
21+ preferred
This is what I got out of your ridiculous ad:
We're looking for an attractive/single girl to be our statkeeper for our summer softball team. TRANSLATION: We are ugly trolls who want to play in a softball league because we have no social life and this way other people are forced to interact with us. We need some dumb slut to drool over because we really have no idea how to play softball, and quite honestly, most girls hate us.
We won't be able to pay you in money, but we'll supply you with plenty of laughs, awesome softball skills and beer. TRANSLATION: Not only are we ugly trolls, we are also broke beyond belief. In fact, we really don't belong to a softball league because we have no money. This is just something we made up so that we could pick up girls. You'll definitely laugh at us, because we've never played ball before, but we do like beer. Everyone likes a good beer, right? Plus, if we get you drunk, we'll be able to do things to you. Especially if we slip some rohypnol into your beer.
Requirements: Attending all of our games, which are Sunday mornings at 9am... which isn't too fun, but coming to the games hungover is totally acceptable. TRANSLATION: We'll also all be hungover, and it'll be great fun if you rolled out of one of our beds (since really we are looking for a team whore to share, not a stat girl), puked in our disgusting frat house wannabe bathroom and came to the game with us.
You'll have to take pictures of us while we play, record all the stats and upload them to the team website. Must be outgoing, and have a witty personality. TRANSLATION: Please feel free to take naked pictures of yourself. Also, it would be cool if you could shoot hardboiled eggs out of your vagina or deep throat a Polish sausage. We saw a stripper do that once at a bachelor party.
Although it's not a requirement, we often frequent Sunday Fundays at Fire Island to celebrate our awesomeness after the games, if you like Rocket Fuels and other beverages, I'd suggest attending. TRANSLATION: We can't play softball but we can drink a lot. You should come too. I suggest doing some yoga before we pass you around for a team gang bang.
21+ preferred. TRANSLATION: Anyone with a fake ID can apply.
21+ preferred. TRANSLATION: Anyone with a fake ID can apply.
Get a life, and leave my fellow females alone you LOSERS.
Love,
ME
ME
I cringe at the thought of them!
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