Dear Ruiner of My Life:

Dear Ruiner of My Life:

Clearly you smoked too much dope in high school as you can't even remember anything that you did just 2 seconds ago. It's bad enough that the doctor called with your blood work results and you couldn't tell me how high your cholesterol was mere seconds after hanging up the phone.

But now, your carelessness is affecting ME, and its ticking me off big time.  For instance, when you "help" around the house by "cleaning" (ahem, by stuffing things into the closets I should say), you lose all of my stuff (and other family members' stuff as well).  Case in point:  I am MISSING:

1.  Both brown sneakers for BB.
2. One of each of the :
     a) Twinkle Toes (BB)
     b) Brown Mary Janes (BB)
     c)  Black ballet flats (BB) *
     d) Black gladiator sandals (Me)
3.  MY BATTERY CHARGER for my rechargeable batteries WHICH I NEED DESPERATELY FOR
     MY DIGITAL CAMERA TO WORK.
4.  Pre school bill for Middle Spawn's enrichment class.
5.  Yesterday's mail

I've already searched high and low in your favorite spots to hide things on me (on top of the fridge, in MY closet, buried in the mountain of crap on the dining room table) to no avail.

YOU keep saying you will find this stuff and YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK.  How can you move stuff around and not know where you put ANY of it? YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MOVING IT!!!

Your brain cells are dead. Kindly get yourself to a neurologist. Thanks.

Love you,
ME

*Yes I know it seems BB has a lot of shoes for a seven year old, but I am telling you, this is the bare minimum - I need brown boots, black boots, brown dress shoes, black dress shoes, and 2 pairs of sneakers.  This is not including the soccer cleats, indoor soccer shoes, ballet slippers, and tap shoes.  Oh yeah, and the crocs (from the toe hurting injury) and silver gladiator sandals.