Sunday, July 3, 2011

Dear Assholes:

Dear Assholes:

Just FYI, even ultra rich bitches have their asses kicked by motherhood, and chances are, they spend less time with their kids than YOU do!

This scene from Sex and the City 2 (I tried to find video of it on YouTube, but no luck!):

I thought, "Why go to a bar when we have a bar?"
Thank you.
Thank you, Resir. You can go. How was your nap?
I slept hard.
You needed it. Being a mother kicks your ass.
Yes, but the benefits make it worth it.
- Okay. We're 6700 miles away from everyone. - Mm-hm.
- You can say it to me. I'm a mother too. - Say what?
All the things you're thinking, but you won't allow yourself to say out loud.
Okay. I'll go first.
As much as I love Brady and I do love him more than words...
being a mother is not enough. I miss my job.
You're not gonna leave me hanging out feeling alone like the worst mother in the world, are you?
- Okay. Well... I love my girls. - I know that.
But...I have enjoyed not having them around.
- I needed a break. - Yes, you did.
Rose cries all day, every day. It's driving me crazy.
I have been watching you for months. I don't know how you're doing it.
Sometimes I go in the other room and I close the door...
and I just let her scream. Isn't that awful?
No, that's survival. Take a sip.
And can I tell you something else? I feel guilty.
I feel so guilty, because all I ever prayed for was to have a family.
And now I have these two beautiful girls.
And?
- They're driving me crazy. - Take a sip.
And I feel like I'm failing. I just feel like I'm failing all the time.
You're not failing. Being a mother is hard.
Oh, my God. It is so hard. And I have full-time help.
How do the women without help do it?
- I have no fucking idea. To them. - To them.
And when I...Oh, no, I can't. I can't. It's awful.
Sip. Go.
When I heard Samantha say that Harry was gonna cheat on me with Erin...
Yeah.
my first thought was: "I can't lose the nanny".
[LAUGHING]

I am so glad Miranda and Charlotte toasted to all of us who do this job without help. This is more than I can say for you, my husband. Or any other man for that matter. I've lost my mind and become a fucking drunk, but at least Hollywood is on my side.

AGAIN, if you have a job, you are spending most of the day CHILDLESS. And therefore, you are one lucky person who gets a lot more time to yourself!!!! Even if you are spending it working. I don't know why this is so hard for you to understand.

And PS, if we had a nanny I so would choose her over you any day. Off to toast myself with a nice glass of Pinot.

Love,
Me

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