Dear MS:

Dear MS:

What did you eat a mushroom from the lawn or something? What the fuck?

You scared the shit out of me when you hallucinated in the middle of the night last night:

MS: Mom?

Me:  Yes?

MS: Where are you?

Me: Right here. (2 minutes pass)

MS: Mom?

Me: Yes?

MS:  Where are you?

Me: I'm right here! (2 minutes pass)

MS: Mom?

Me: Yeah?

MS: Where are you?

Me: I'm NEXT to you I'm NOT moving! What the fuck is matter with you??? (5 minutes pass)

MS: Mama?

Me: Yes?

MS:  I want to lay with you toever*.

Me: Ok go to sleep.

MS:  WHERE ARE YOU GOING STARLICK??

Me: Starlick isn't here, go to sleep.

MS: STARLICK WHERE ARE YOU GOING?????

Me:  Shhhhhhhh. Starlick is NOT here, go to sleep buddy.

MS:  I'm HOT.

Me:  Take off your shirt.

MS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (5 minutes pass)

MS:  I can't see anything.

Me: Because the lights are off. It's dark. It's time for sleep. You have to go to sleep so you feel better. (2 minutes pass)

MS: I can't see anything.

Me:  Go to sleep.

MS: NOOOOOOOOOO NO spiders! The spiders are coming down. THE SPIDERS ARE COMING DOWN!!!

Me: There are no spiders. CALM down! Just go to sleep so you can feel better.

MS: (growls)

H**: WHAT THE FUCK. I GOTTA GO IN EARLY TOMORROW.

Me:  Go get this kid some motrin. He's fucking hallucinating.

H: COME ON (Huffs and puffs and whines and bitches all the way to the bathroom; MS takes motrin)

MS: I need water.

Me: Go tell daddy he's in the bathroom.

MS: (goes into bathroom) aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh I need water.

H: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

MS: (comes back to bed).  I can't see anything.

H:  Go back to your room, the TV is on. You can watch TV.

Me: This kid is fucking hallucinating and burning up I think he should just stay here in case/

H: Oh come on you're insane.

Me: He's on fucking fire and screaming about spiders!

H: He's fine.

Me: Fuck off.

H: I gotta WAKE UP EARLY!

MS: I can't see anything!!!!

Me: Shhhhhhh go to sleep.

H: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (15 minutes pass)

MS: I'm going in my room (goes into his room to watch Pokemon).

All the while I was thinking of the wonderful gift given to me by a GREAT friend (you know who you are). I strongly suggest buying this for all those new mommies! In fact, BB's teacher is having a baby, and I bought her a copy PLUS a bottle of Mommy's Time Out.  I'm going to put my copy of this fabulous book in your storage bin, so you can read it to your kid when they are torturing you.


Love you!

Please feel better soon!

Love,
Mommy

P.S. I wish when I brought you to the doctor you would have had strep throat! Because at least they would have given you medicine and this would all be over. THIS is something else.  I really REALLY hope you DID NOT eat a mushroom from the front lawn and that this is just a virus or something.



*Translation:  FOREVER. This is how MS says "forever"

**Husband