A Day In the Life:

Let Me Paint You A Picture:

As I type, the baby is crawling under my legs trying to unplug my computer. Alternately he is crying, and standing up and banging on the keyboard.

In the meantime:

BB: MS is being mean to me.

BB:  MS HIT ME.

BB:  I WANT THE CAT. I WANT A CAT THAT'S NOT AFRAID OF ME.

BB hits MS repeatedly.

Sounds of sobbing, screaming, hiccuping, and loud breathing.

BB:  DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? IT ISN'T FUNNY WHEN SOMEONE IS CRYING!

BB hits MS repeatedly on his ass.

BB:  MAAAAAAMAAAA. Mama! MOMMA!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

The sounds of whining.

BB:  I WANT THE CAT. I WANT THE CAT. I WANT THE CAT! STOOOOOOP!! STOP! He's hitting me.

BB: I want the cat.

A stuffed cat goes flying and hits me in the head. MS opens a Spiderman umbrella and starts running through the house with it. BB continues sniveling, sniffing, sobbing and whining.

BB: SHUSH

MS: Ready? READY? Ready? Ready?

BB: SHUSH!

BB: I WANT THE CAT.

BB hits MS repeatedly on the ass, comes over, hugs me and says:

BB:  Could we please get the cat? (TO MS: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET).

BB:  MS threw a shoe at me. I WANT A CAT. I REALLY WANT A CAT. MOMMY YOU PROMISED I WOULD GET A CAT.

Baby Spawn cries, throws his head back and falls off the pile of boxes he was climbing on.

MS: Be my teacher BB!

BB: I'm not playing with you. I'm not being your teacher.

BB: NO ONE EVEN LIKES ME!

MS:  DON'T BE RUDE (throws paper airplane at BB).

BB and MS wrestle all over my bed, punching, kicking, hitting each other and screaming. The bed, newly made, rapidly becomes a disgusting mess, like the rest of my house. Baby Spawn bites me, pulls my hair and head butts me. MS starts throwing my shoes at BB one by one.

BB:  MOMMY MS THREW THIS AT ME. IT HURTS. IT HURTS. IT HURTS. OUCHEEE. OUCHEE. OUCHEEEEEE. OUCHEE.

BB:  I WANT THE CAT. Mommy you are gonna drop Baby Spawn. He's falling please help him! Let him on the bed! MOMMA. MS is throwing stuff!! SOB SOB SOB SNIFFLE. WAAAAAAHHHHH.

BB:  I want the cat.

Baby Spawn starts throwing plastic bags and candles around the room. He starts climbing on the headboard. BB grabs him, he falls on top of her, and they both start screaming.