Dear Crazy Lady:
Listen, I get you want to be fashionista, but REALLY no one over 22 should wear this style of swimsuit.
Even if you weren't a flabby old mess, this style of bathingsuit is not for the senior citizen set. Get it?
You are someone's grandmother for the love of God! You should't be able to trade clothes with your grandchildren. THAT'S JUST WRONG.
Listen, sweetie, I'm not trying to be mean, I'm trying to help you! This is wrong on SO MANY LEVELS. The tan lines alone should be enough to send you running for a wetsuit.
The point is, I weigh half as much as you, am half your age, and I wouldn't be caught dead in this fucking getup. Someone should punch whoever is with you in the face for letting you go out like that.
Invest in a "burkini"* ASAP!
Love,
ME
*Remember the Burkini from Sex and the City 2? Turns out Nigella Lawson wore one to the beach. Maybe it's a trend that is catching on:
P.S. Even though you are no Nigella, the fact that someone as hot as Nigella is wearing this proves that even you can be trendy. That's right! You can be old, flabby AND trendy. Good luck!
I see woman like this and much, much heavier dressing like that at the 6 Flags by my house. Not only do they wear one of those bathing suites, but they go one step further and wear a fishnet style bathing suite cover over it and it doesn't cover much! LOL!
ReplyDeleteJust gotto laugh and wonder what their mirror looks like at home?
I agree! We should all be so lucky to have one of those "Magic Mirrors"!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete