You Have GOT To Be Fucking Kidding Me

Upon returning to my house after taking the baby for a walk, what should I find on the table but a note left for me by my darling husband*:

What a fucking douchebag.  Let me tell you something sweetheart, I have my own fucking list for YOU:

1.  Make enough money so that I can hire a fucking maid, AND
2.  Start using your fake vagina.  It was a gift!!!! The person who gave it to you spent a lot of money for your enjoyment.
3.  Get a vasectomy.


*Names have been omitted so that this letter cannot be used as evidence when I fucking rip his balls off.