Dear Jerks:

Dear Jerks:

If you must insist on emptying your piggy banks and flinging your money all over the place so that your 7 month old baby brother can choke himself to death on your riches, I am going to have to insist that that money is now MINE.  Dig the wax out of your ears & LISTEN, stop being so fucking lazy, AND CLEAN IT UP. Otherwise I will consider it part of my salary.

For that matter, if you insist on being freaking slobs all day every day, I will be removing an allowance for myself OUT OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNTS.  Lucky for you I won't backdate it, otherwise you would owe me $6,349, 298.65.  Be prepared to be destitute like the rest of America or roll up your sleeves, get on your knees AND CLEAN YOU MAGGOTS.

Lovingly,
Your Adoring Mother.