Dear Oldest Jerk:

Dear Oldest Jerk:

Instead of screaming your face off that you "NEED A PEN RIGHT NOW", how about you get off your ass, and go look for one?

I don't know where your fucking PEN is*. Santa brought you guys 10 "pens" in various colors, and who knows what the fuck you did with them**. All I know is, I have better things to do than listen to your fucking screaming.

Also, please be advised that I no longer answer to people who scream at me and don't say please. So you can roll around on the floor screaming all day. Hopefully you will eventually lose your voice and pass out. Until then, I will have my i-pod on full blast.

Thanks.

Your Loving Mother.

PS - candy necklaces do not go in your jewelry box, nor do potato chips belong crushed into my carpet. Thanks.

Love ya,
Mom

*And by the way, Bitch, it's actually a fucking STYLUS for your fucking DSi, not a PEN, but whatever.

**It seems to me you should shut the hell up, use your finger instead and wait for the fucking Easter Bunny to bring you some more.