Dear *@$#****:

Dear Fuck:

Kindly explain to me why it is ok for me to drive the kid to school in my bathrobe when she has to be in early*, but for in order for you to do it, you have to be showered, dressed and have your hair in order?

I really love your new hours. You are always around to help me with the kids in the morning, just like you said**.

The SAD thing is YOU think you are indispensible here! You actually said "You only have to drive the kid one day a week, and you can't manage it". I ONLY ASKED FOR HELP because I had spent all morning feeding 3 kids while YOU slept in, I dressed them, I studied with her for the math test*** and YOU did NOTHING.

YOU are an asstard.

Love,
ME


*I don't get out of the car, I just drop her off.

**Ahem. Sarcasm = A tongue of which the user speaks of something the complete opposite of what the user means. It often has the best comedic value.
Ex: "I'm okay. Don't mind the gaping wound and the sword protruding from my back. I'm fine. Feel like a million fucking bucks, dammit."

***See post titled Dear Assface

****My mom yelled at me for cursing too much.