Dear Jackoff:

Dear Jackoff:

Yeah, thanks so much. I opened 3 separate closets today in 3 separate rooms during the course of my day. You know, I was just putting away laundry, getting a new slip cover for the couch, and getting the big box of baby wipes out of the closet.

Imagine my surprise when  ALL THREE TIMES objects flew out of the closet nearly killing me and now there is all kinds of shit laying everywhere.  Can't wait for you to come home and complain about the mess. Even though IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT.

Here's some info, just FYI....
1.  Cleaning does not mean stuffing everything into a fucking closet or sweeping it under a rug.
2.  Cleaning ACTUALLY involves cleaning supplies, mops, buckets, water, and soap.
3.  Cleaning baby stuff means you pick up all the food thrown on the floor by the baby and wash off his    high chair tray.
4.  Also when the baby's diaper leaks shit out of it and his clothes get full of it, you RINSE THAT SHIT OFF IN THE SINK. With soap. And water.  You don't just throw shit filled onesies in the hamper. Because now my whole house smells like a fucking cesspool.
5.  Moreover, that towel you use ONE TIME to dry off after your CLEAN ass comes out of the shower? THAT'S NOT DIRTY AND DOESN'T BELONG IN THE HAMPER. You can use that a couple of times. I don't need to be doing laundry ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY!

You are driving me fucking crazy. Seriously. Just don't clean. PLEASE DON'T CLEAN. Don't do ANYTHING without specific instructions from me. Because AGAIN you used the dishwasher and there are a bunch of dirty dishes in there for me to rewash. AND although you FINALLY listened about not putting the baby bottles in the dishwasher and washed them by hand, they all felt like they were COVERED in grease and I also have to rewash them.

So while you think you are God's Gift to women, I am telling you YOU ARE NOT. More like a Trojan Horse or the Devil in Disguise or some fucking retard I picked up off the street. One more time: JUST STOP "CLEANING". I don't need your kind of "help".

Thanks.

Love you!

Love,
ME