Dear Crazy Bitches:

Dear Crazy Bitches:

I want to thank you for making my life so very interesting. Without you, who would I have to write about? I am so very amused by all you do.

There's the special lady who thinks it's a good idea to let her kids play with a (probably rabid) racoon in the broad daylight and wears fur coats even in the summer.

There's the kook who clearly has too much time on her hands and needs a job asap.  She's so bored she has to update you every time she takes a shit via text message, e-mail, facebook, snail mail and phone.
There's the high strung nutcase who takes everything that comes out of your mouth personally (Wake up nutcake, I'm not insulting you. It has nothing to do with you).

There's the delightful woman who loves nothing more than to throw out backhanded compliments in front of large crowds of people, i.e., "I wish I could be like you, and not give a shit what I look like".

Or the special friend who delights in your misery.

There's the lunatic who thinks that it's adorable that her child is failing out of pre-school and spends school days punching other students in the face.

There's the winner who thinks anything below high school is not "real" school, and consequently, the children should not be wasting their time learning anything so stupid and useless such as reading.

And lets not forget the stupid bitches who are too busy getting Brazilian waxes and drinking Starbucks to make a phone call to respond to a birthday party invite.

To those who fall into more than one category, hats off to you! What an accomplishment to be proud of!

Thanks for the memories!

Love,
ME