Dear Moronic First Time Mother:
It is best not to ask for help from someone wrangling three children when all you have is a 1 year old baby. The reasons for this are as follows:
1. Immediately, the wrangler of the three children feels resentful of you because you only have one child.
2. In addition to feeling resentful of you, the wrangler of the three children wants to bash your face in, because you are unable to take care of yourself AND your ONE baby YET you think that MOM OF 3 can take care of her 3, herself AND YOU AND YOURS!
3. MOM OF 3 also feels incredulous and wonders if she was ever as dumb as you look right now.
I suggest you bring along your mother or a nanny or something to help you get through the day, because quite frankly, I don't have time for this.
Love,
ME
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