You actually ARE retarded.

Dear Husband:

You really are fucking brain dead. I realized this when I caught you pouring soap into the sink full of dishes.

This is why no dishes are ever clean in this house when you come in contact with them.

Here's the deal:  You pour the soap on the sponge and  wash each dish, adding more soap TO THE SPONGE as you go. You don't pour soap all over the dirty dishes and then turn the water on, swipe the sponge over them, and call them clean.

Moron.

Love,
Your Loving Wife.